She felt like an observer. The voice commanded Natalie to do things to her, to say things to her, things she didn’t understand, and words she knew she never said but it was her voice saying them. She felt strong, powerful, in command. She liked this feeling of total control. She watched Natalie allow herself to be demeaned and she secretly liked it. This had happened before, it wasn’t the first time. It’d happened for other reasons, but it had happened. There was a thrill about it too, indescribable. She didn’t care that she’d wake up in the morning crying like a little baby. That person was weak, and she hated that person anyway. The afternoon turned into evening, all a sexual marathon. When she was sated she’d leave Natalie. She didn’t fear that Natalie would want to break off the relationship. She didn’t care actually. She knew she could always find another. Natalie saw Mary Catherine the next day and tried to make plans with her to go out on Friday night. ‘I can’t, I have plans. ’ Little else was said on that matter before we paid our bill and left the café. Jonathan struggled to look disapproving, but Elizabeth and I could tell he was most intrigued by her vague yet thrilling suggestion. I, for my part, made no effort to hide my own titillation, after all, my own secrets were already in the open and her suggestion was the perfect complement to them. Elizabeth tidied up the proposal with a firm reassurance that more concrete plans could be made later. ‘We must discuss the matter with Irene and Benjamin as well, after all,’ she said as we emerged into the hazy sunshine. ‘And also, I believe little Alexandria is off to school shortly. I should like to see her off with a woman-to-woman talk, I think, before we take our own leave.’ ‘That reminds me, Uncle has said he wishes you to do just that,’ I told Elizabeth. And at that point, dear reader, I made a serious mistake. For reasons I understood neither then nor now, I did not tell her what Alexandria had revealed.
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